Express

what the hell? that's all i can say about what i'm currently feeling.

i used to be so sure that you were perfect for me.

so sure that you were everything i wanted.

so sure that you completed me.

so sure.

now i'm confused. bitter. teary.

pissed. resentful. hurt.

whywhywhy.

honestly, you've let me down.

my expectations were high, i admit.

but you lived up to them for so long.

you exceeded them for longer, did you know?

i don't know how i feel.

but i know for sure that i must push you aside.

i need to have feelings for someone else. intense ones, preferably.

maybe ones that will drown you out.

jesus, i need it.

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i've calmed down some now.

i was really freaking out. =/

you know what? maybe you are the one for me.

maybe you are, and one day we'll date and it'll be perfect.

maybe you and i would be amazing together.

but now isn't the time to figure that out.

i know that now.

is that what you've been trying to tell me all along?

i think it is, and i think some part of me knew it.

but hell, i didn't want that to be the case.

it's like this:

I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I GET IT.

that i understand now, and fully grasp the reality of this.

and no, i don't know what that means for the way things are.

maybe that's okay, though. maybe we'll just figure it out as we go. ♥