Oh, nonsense...

so, oh my goddd, i am the most gullible person the entire world. i mean, i've known this for quite some time, longer than i'd like to remember actually, and i still can't get over it. sure, i'm pretty immune to my family's lame crap jokes that i know aren't true, but with other people... whoo. it's BAD. i believe people so easily, no matter who they are and how long i've known them. for example... i can't think of an example. okay, yes i can: if someone like, er, Heather, let's say, said that she absolutely hated me and didn't want me to come near her for the rest of the summer, i would probably believe it, even if i knew i'd done nothing to cause random hatred. bad example, but you get it. yeah, it's funny afterward, when i laugh at the absurdity of such a concept, but at the time, i tend to believe such things.

i think i know why. no, it's not because i'm retarded... not really, haha. it's because i trust people immediately and unfailingly. eh, it's probably a bad idea, but i can't help it. it's so easy. easier than waiting around for people to prove that they're trustworthy, anyway. if they prove that they're worth my trust, great, if they don't, oh well.

back to the bit about me being retarded: i am, and i know it. i do dumb things, like trip over my own feet (and everyone else's), act spastic 99% of the time, and am generally rather ditzy. i accept it, but i also know that i'm by no means stupid. far from it, actually. i'm awful at riddles, but good at games that require logic and actual brainpower. i remember books i read, and movies i see, but forget where i put my retainers every morning. i remember facts about people, and i hoard secrets and am an absolute gossip fiend. ya know what, i'll define myself in six ways (in no real order):

1. i'm addicted to the high i get from dancing, be it in the studio, on stage, or just in the car, because it's my favorite thing to do. it's creative and expressive, and passion-filled, too.
2. i love to be my own person, but i am not by any means a leader. i like to be unique, and therefore love my pretty uncommon name. however, on the flip side of that, i don't like to stand out excessively, because it truly makes me uncomfortable.
3. when i first meet someone, i'm usually shy and keep generally to myself. once you get to know me better, you'll find that i'm funny and fun to be around. i like to describe myself as "spunky." i'm usually nice, but i'll admit that i'm a bit two-faced when it comes to some people, as i don't really tell people when i have a problem with them. (see above)
4. my friends and family mean so much to me. sure, my family is lacking some in the sanity department, but most families are, right? i still love them. and my friends? ohh, it's completely love. i don't know what i'd do without them, especially the ones who have stuck with me through the thick and thin.♥
5. i tend to be... cautious when it comes to matters of the heart. i don't usually throw myself into love, because breaking hearts and having your heart broken are (?) awful, and i've sadly experienced both. usually it's worth the ache-- hearts are precious things to hold in your hands. some people don't believe that young people can fall in love, but frankly, screw those who think that, because it isn't about age.
6. my favorite band, Death Cab for Cutie, could seriously single-handedly spur world peace if everyone listened. i'm obsessed with song lyrics, especially theirs, because i'm always looking for inspiring and/or meaningful quotes. i think their music overall is genius, no matter what anyone says.

"i wish we could open our eyes,
to see in all directions at the same time.
oh, what a b e a u t i f u l view,
if you were never aware of what was around you.
and it is true what you said--
that i live like a hermit in my own head.
but when the sun shines again,
i'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in."
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