Lately, I've been coasting. I meander about for hours and accomplish nothing. I have conversations where nothing is really said. I smile even though I do not feel the stirrings of happiness. I have never felt sadness and emptiness of this magnitude until now. There are brief moments where I am fully present, but they are few and far between. It is as if I am merely a spectator of my own life rather than its main participant.
I cannot put a name to this feeling. The only way I can describe it is this: a black hole. I am a black hole, sucking emotion, meaning, and purpose out of my life. Black holes interrupt the space time continuum, and that makes sense, since time seems to be slipping through my fingers like sand. Black holes can suck up entire galaxies. But, I cannot let that happen. I refuse to let this nothingness entirely take hold. I have to fight, but I do not know how just yet.
I think all I need is a little magic.
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