Maybe I have been wrong all this time. About everything pertaining to you. As the year comes to a close, I can't help but wonder if I've been wasting my time. All signs point to yes, but deep in me I feel the opposite. This has all been for something. It has to have been. I love you. So how can you be a waste of my time? It doesn't make any sense.
Except. Except for the fact that you don't love me back. Except that nothing I do is ever good enough. Except that sometimes you make me feel used and ridiculous. Except that you never give as much as you take. Except that you more often than not treat me like absolute crap.
Except except except.
It's just not fair. I want you. It doesn't matter that I shouldn't, that I deserve better, or whatever it is people tell me. I don't want better.
But I have to be strong. I have to let you come to me.
It's so hard. I can't keep acting like I'm so fine all the time.
But I will. I have no other choice, it's as simple as that, always has been.
Through everything, I'm still hoping.
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