Butterflies

When I laid eyes on you yesterday, I felt them. ♥

>>>><<<<

I'm so scared.

I'm scared I'll do something stupid or silly and scare you away. I'm scared to let you in completely, because I honestly have no idea what either of our intentions are anymore. I'm scared that I don't trust you as much as I used to, and I don't know how to fix it, or if it even can be fixed. I'm scared to lay it all out, everything I have, because I don't know what I would do if you turned me away [again]. I'm scared that I'm so much more in this than you. I'm scared that I'm not good enough for you.

All in all, I'm scared of you.

I hate it. It doesn't bother me that people can get under my skin, especially you. No, what bothers me is the fact that I so terrified of you. I am of two minds about it: I shouldn't be scared of you, because after all, you are only a person. You are a person who may or may not care [deeply?] for me, and I should just let things happen as they will... right? I am worth your time, I know this for a fact; sometimes my mind just gets a little carried away with the height of the pedestal on which I put you. But, on the other hand, I have every right to be scared of you, because you have let me down before. That's the naked truth of it, all of your best and worst intentions aside. You have let me down, and trust me, it hurt. You have hurt me, and yet I keep coming back for more. I have every right to be scared of being pushed off that particular cliff again, since it is a very real possibility, if I am completely honest with myself.

...So where does that leave me?

I know I am good enough for you, for anyone.

But that doesn't mean I'm what you want.

I'm hoping you won't let me down again.

You are worth the emotional risk.

It's all in your hands, really.