A New Day...

It's Wednesday, March 12th. It's a normal Wednesday, except for the fact that I'm not in school. (Few upperclassmen are due to FCAT testing... Our great reward for passing is doing nothing at school for multiple hours, so why go, right??) Yet somehow, this particular Wednesday is different.


Last night while talking to someone I really care about, I realized a few things... Namely that I've been writing to the wrong person on here. For quite a while now... *sigh*. Okay, monologue:

I've been writing to you for the better part of a year now. Looking at it objectively, I realize that my cute quotes and witty (just go with it) commentary have been largely a waste of time. You don't appreciate them. Or me, for that matter. You might have once, but you just don't care anymore. I've accepted that now. You know, I used to think you were meant for me. That we were two halves of a whole. Now I understand that I was probably wrong. If two people are meant for each other, they should make an effort to care, right? One half should not be relentlessly loving the other, while the other remains indifferent. Halves care about each other. Okay, I'll revise that: you might once have loved me, but now you just care for me as a friend. Possibly not even as a close friend... I don't really know, since you don't particularly like talking about it. I get that we couldn't be together now even if we wanted to, I really get it. That doesn't mean I like it...

Humph, this is complicated.

I wish it could be that simple for me. I wish I could just turn how much I care for you on and off like a leaky faucet. Believe me, if I could, I would. But it hit me last night that I don't love you like I used to. Now I'm a little bitter... and things are just different. In my heart of hearts, I know I still love you, and probably always will to some extent. You've had such an effect on my life that forgetting you is simply impossible. Not that I really want to forget you, because I don't. Can't. Won't. Take your pick.

What I want is for us to remain as close as we are. Is that too much to ask after all I've said? I can't just drop you, and never would. Maybe someday we will see whether or not we're meant to be. Maybe we'll prove my theory correct: that we're perfect for each other... Yes, I still believe it's true. We would either be perfect or completely wrong for each other, that's what I've decided. Halves of a whole? Maybe. We'll see. However, in between now and "someday," I have someone else to write to. Someone I really really care about... who feels the same way about me. (What a concept.) Don't fret! I'll still write to you occasionally.

Do me a favor? Don't forget about me. ♥