Without Chains

Has anyone ever told you that they lived for you? When I say "anyone," I don't mean someone like, say, a parent. Isn't that obvious? I mean someone who loves you. As in, that person is in love with you.

!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to interrupt myself, because I brought up a very important point: being in love. How often does it really and truly happen these days?

Answer: not very, Kenna, not very.

It disappoints me to hear people sling around those three words like they are meaningless. People who have no idea that those three words are so simple, yet can mean so much. Or people who recognize the significance, but disregard it.

But I know some people really get it.

You know, I used to think I really knew what love was, back before 7th(ish) grade. Then, it snuck up on me, and I fell in love. It was giddy, innocent, and simple, really. I loved my best guy friend because all his good qualities suddenly seemed amazing, and he seemed to glow in my eyes. It may sound sappy and foolish, but I really did love that boy, to the point where breathing in his presence became a chore.

Sure, 7th grade love hardly seems to count, but it was real to me, and all my friends knew I really had it bad.

Since then? Well, it's never been the same.

Wanna hear a not-so-random fact?

I used to keep a list of all the guys I ever really liked, not necessarily loved, but liked enough to remember. Eventually, as 9th grade passed, I realized that said list was too lengthy for my liking. Thus, I revised it to contain the names of all the boys I really loved. (Needless to say, the list got SIGNIFICANTLY shorter...)

For a while, I kept both lists handy, for a laugh or a fun walk down memory lane. I lost them not too long ago, but long enough that I don't really know where the hell it disappeared to, much less who was on it. I remember the important names, the ones I loved the most, but it kinda makes me laugh to think that I loved the others and then forgot about them. Maybe I didn't love them as much as I thought...

BACK TO LIVING FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

(OR HAVING SOMEONE LIVE FOR YOU.)

h'okay, so.

what does one say to such an admission?

...i think i forgot my point.

------------------------------------------------------

Something always brings me back to you.

It never takes too long.

No matter what I say or do

I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.

You keep me without chains.

I never wanted anything so much

than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be.

I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.

Here I am and I stand so tall,

just the way I'm supposed to be.

But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile,

when I thought that I was strong.

But you touch me for a little while

and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be.

I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.

Here I am and I stand so tall,

just the way I'm supposed to be.

But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see

that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.

But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.

The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.

You're onto me,

you're onto me and all over…

Something always brings me back to you….

It never takes too long.